2011

Well, tonight is the big thing. It's the countdown to 2012.

More alone time for me! Boo.

I practically cried my eyes out last night. Not like anyone cared.

So anyway, I'm gonna have a terrible new year.

Yeay me! Peace out.

17#

I have so much problems going on. God, help me. Please :/

16#

So 2011 is gonna end in a few days. Wow, I've been through A LOT this year and I'm gonna miss every moment of it. We all have our regrets and memories in 2011, and I wish I could fix all the things I did wrong to people. I've made friends, bestfriends and enemies. I transferred to two different schools, with totally different people. Adjusted myself to different environments, and went through so many situations that only god can understand.

This year, I started off in TKC. I remember the days after prep, we would listen to "Flirty at 5:30" on Fly.Fm. Mire would come up every afternoon and lepak with us. Oh that was fun. And at night, after lights off, Mire would stay over and we'd gossip for hours. I remember the nights me and Mira pretended we were going to Paris, how we would meet our boyfriends and they'd bring us out to a romantic candle lit dinner. HAHAHA. Mira's birthday surprise was awesome. Despite the fact that she totally stuffed choc cake up my nose, and when Kak Ita burned mira's hair. Lol. I also remember the day we received Japanese cards from SAS. And Faiz's little unicorn message on my card. hahaha. He also passed a Bieber t-shirt to ms Rahiza, to pass it to me. Dang, Leni had to claim the tshirt for me. hehe. Luqman's terrific performance at TKC's OGA day. It was so adorable when his mom went on stage to kiss him :B I remember how Aaina cried when I bought her the Bieber hoodie, and Scabs's obsession with Encik Razif. The English Drama experience was the best. Being elected as the Wardrobe Leader and winning Best Junior Play. One of my bestfriends, Aliff Nazrin helping me out for the Mid Year Exams, and waking me up at 4 in the morning to make me study. That was fun. I remember waiting for Aliff at KL Sentral to go to Pavi for Aida's Birthday Karaoke Party. Haha. The best part of this year was spending time with Tunku Kurshiah Wind Orchestra. Gosh, I miss them so much. Without TKWO, I dont think my life in school wouldve been complete <3

After the changing of schools from TKC to CILC, I had an amazing time in the orchestra for the Cempaka Production; Seussical the Musical and became friends with Erina and some other CILC girls. Thats when I became close to Luqman Firdaus too (: Oh, I went to WOC and bumped into my beloved petbrother; Zach. Hihi. He's SUPER tall omg, i cant even desribe how tall he is. Two months later, I had a school trip to Rome. And thats when I became friends with Nadhirah. The minute I entered CILC, I seemed to immediately click with Tasha. Who is now my bestfriend, hihi. We had an awesome time at Rockaway. I still cant believe we saw All Time Low perform live. That weekend we stayed back at CILC to study, failed miserably. But it's okay, we were having fun camwhoring anyway. After my SBP friends had their PMR, I brought Tasha out with Paan, Faiz and M. Lol, thats when the drama of Tasha and M started. hahaha. Funny shizz man. Had my first LaserTag game with Murni, Ima, Acai, Dabar, Nadzrey, Apep, Fina and Scabs :D The SSP carnival was awesome. I finally met my friend Fik. Watched my first english horror movie with dem boys after the carnival. Paranormal Activity was damn scary. haha. Ms Rahiza recently got married, and that was such a happy moment for her family (: I was damn touched when she invited me. Lulz.

I remember the day Kak Dizzy passed away. And I'm still very sorry for the family's loss.

But despite all the moments I loved, I also have regrets.

I regret fighting with Fina and Ain ALL THE TIME. I regret not praying 5 times a day. I regret trash talking about my friends. I regret ditching Mire at times. I regret breaking Luqman's heart. I regret fighting with Nufail. I regret hitting Faris's back until there was a hand mark. I regret being bitchy to "Bieber". I regret getting terrible results and making my parents sad. I regret being cheap. I regret talking with such foul language to some of my friends. I regret pulling Tasha's hair. I regret scolding the juniors. I regret trying to be someone i'm not.

I hope I'll be a better person next year. InsyaAllah.

15#

18th December 2011;

A day to remember.

So I was at the Airport at 00:00AM on the morning of the 18th, and Elias was the first to wish me, thanks sweetheart. Tasha was the second, then Luqman called to sing "What makes you Beautiful" (: I was quite shocked that some people made an effort to actually do more than just a "HB" on my facebook wall. You guys are awesome.

Thanks Nazira for this tweet, and also for posting it on your facebook ♥

Thanks Eyman for the blog post :')

And to Maisarah, for being so thoughtful. You're the best little sis ♥

And to both of my best friends; Mire and Iman

And to Deeba as well. You remembered my obsession with unicorns :B

There's too many people to thank for making my birthday the best. I couldn't fit them all in, cause damn blogger was being a bitch. So, thank you again and Merry Christmas (:

14#

Today marks the 6th year of her death.

I miss you terribly, Aunty Ida.

16th December 2005

13#

I took this out of my downloads, boo yeah!

Dearest Luqman Firdaus,

Hello chipmunk. Lolol. It's your birthday today, and you finally got your wish ha? Well I would just like to say, thanks man. Thanks for being an awesome bestfriend.

I remember the first time I saw you at TKC's OGA day :D Yes, I call you Bieber because of that performance you made. I didn't expect us to actually be friends ya know, since you're in cempaka and I was in Tkc. But oh well, luck changed when I moved to cempaka and you just happened to pass by during Seussical practice. I'm sorry I couldn't get you the girl of your dreams. I tried my best (well obviously it wasn't good enough). But through the 5 months journey we went through together to get this girl, we became close. Haha, SUPER close. And the best part was when you did my english homework for me :B Lulz.

Anyway, back to the main point of this post. Thank you for looking out for me ALWAYS. I mean like, when I had problems with that douche bag, you'd always be there to cheer me up. And I dont know lah.. I cant describe how much I appreciate you man. You're just so wonderful. Haha. You seem to be the only person that has so much faith in me, I still wonder why. Damn, if I was blessed with wealth, I wouldve thrown you an EPIC birthday surprise just to prove my appreciation. But you know, this blog post is all I can afford. I hope you'll forgive me for that. Oh oh, and you're like a mother to me. A MOTHER man. That's like way past the bestfriend zone. So be proud :B haha.

I would really write more, but since you're bugging me on skype I thought I'd just keep it short :P Thank you Luqman Bieber. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3

12#

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH

11#

Hey Nadhirah! This is gonna be hard, but I'll do it anyway. You're leaving Malaysia soon. Damn girl, I'm gonna miss you. The past 3 months have been completely INSANE. You've been such a good friend to me. Especially on my first days at CILC. I still find you really weird, but it's okay. Atleast we have something in common :P I'm gonna miss these moments..

When we went to toys R us, and you insisted on getting yourself a doll :B

And this, on your last day of school at CILC :'(

The best picture of all time! Taken by Tasha -.- Well atleast we were together in it.

And when you bought me a Nyan Cat Pony

Remember these lovelies? ;) ↓

So yes, this won't be the end of it. We'll write you letters! And skype with you all the time! You're awesome Nadhirah, and I don't want this to be a goodbye. But oh well ): Have fun in Melbourne, with all those hotties.

Goodbye Mrs. Barakat ♥

10#

It's been days since we've properly spoken, or atleast made a conversation. I'm devastated by the fact that she means more than me, in your eyes. I miss those days, where we would just talk on the phone and tell each other the most random things. Your company brought me joy. It gave me hope that perfect men do exist. It made me trust you and believe that you were my everything. Ofcourse I'm a bit young to say that now, but I'm pretty damn serious. You seem to avoid me now. And cos I'm not a nutcase, I would actually just keep quiet about it and not make such a big deal. You give her the attention I use to get. Am I that hideous to look at? You've always said you need a girl that appreciates you. That appreciates the effort you put into a relationship. But what about me? I need your appreciation too. You do not know how much I go through just to make you happy, just to make you satisfied. I try so hard to not hurt your feelings, cause you're so damn sensitive. Guess what man, I've had enough of your shit. I'm tired of moping around and feeling bad for myself. I'm not your second choice. And I never will be.

9#

The desire for fun and the desire for freedom. It's christmas holidays, so I intend to make the most of it. Plans for this christmas is to dip dye my hair. Yes, I'll look like some weird disoriented child. But who cares what people think? My birthday's coming up in a few days and I cant wait to celebrate it in Africa. Daddy said he has the best surprise for me. Gee, I wonder what it is. So anyway, before we leave for africa, I really want to dip dye it. Erina's hair looks gorgeous, and so does Ines's. This is my life, so step aside ladies. To the hair dresses, I shall go!

8#

Just to make things clear;

I'm very much inlove with my iTunes. Haha, well music lah. And I like to dedicate everything I do to music. Doesn't matter what type of music, it's beautiful in every way. So all of my post-titles come entirely from my iTunes. Sometimes it may not relate to what I'm trying to say, but the meaning of the song actually might relate in a very different way. Thank you.

7#

When it comes to love, everyone tends to get excited. But it has come to an extent where love life can be sickening. Getting high hopes and treated well doesn't mean it'll end up the way you wished it would. No, it gets harder. Especially when someone else enters the picture. No matter how sweet his explanation may be to cheer you up, in the end, you know he means differently. I find it hard to control my jealousy and my pain. But i can never deny the fact that its hard to move on.

Tears burst out now and then, No shit was ever given. My anger starts to build up like a wall. Yes, like a damn fucking wall. I'm just pissed and hurt. And everything i'm saying doesn't even make sense. FML.

6#

Btw, Luqman Firdaus is the awesomest bestfriend ever :D

*He made me do this -.-

5#

Elias Kadir, I am so sorry for posting this picture. I know you'll hate me for it, but oh well, hair obsession comes first :B LOOK AT YOUR HAIR MAN. So beautiful it brings me to tears. Lol it already did, when you told me you went BALD. And besides, I'm waiting for the "Sex-Hair" tumblr, to open their submissions again. So while waiting I thought I should post a picture of you. Weeee :D I'm such a cool friend kan? I know i know. I just thought you should know, that you're a great friend. I mean like, you're always there for me. And I'm not even lying. You helped me so much when I was at my weakest. Damn, I just feel like hugging you now :'( Thanks Elias. Despite your retardedness, you're still awesome. And yes, more awesome than me :D xx

4#

I'm sleepy and I'm exhausted. Watching mean girls right now. Woots.

I have to admit, I crave for attention. I've been so emotional these past few days, cause I'm never happy. And I just cant figure out why. I love my friends for being there for me and trying to cheer me up. But basically, you can never cheer me up. No matter how hard you try.

3#

I seem to have this desire for weed. Help.

2#

Sorry, I just had to get this out of my system.

I am uncontrollably and madly inlove with these three men. Lol, ofcourse they're not well known to the citizens of Malaysia. Cause everyone here seems to only listen to One Direction -.- But they are DROP DEAD awesome. Their british accents are simply adorable, and their music, UNF. So bloody insane. I would literally cry if they came to Malaysia. Omg, and I get eargasms when I listen to them ♥Ahh, but I dont fangirl over them like how people do on Bieber. Cause that's just creepy :| So you guys HAVE to listen to The Wombats. No Shit.

1#

It's 6 in the morning.

And some guy called me lame for not having a blog. Its okay mafaka, I'll have one now then. BE PREPARED as I unleash my awesomeness. TADAAA~

Well anyway, this is my THIRD attempt at making a blog. I hope this one lasts. Like fo real.

Peace.